Australian adventures, race updates and a few highs and lows along the way. This is a bit of a contrast to last month’s issue, Living The High Life, in both landscape and climate. February is one of those months that tend to fill up and fly by, at least in my experience. I spent a total of 11 days in Boston, and the rest have been travelling down under. I had a few bucket list items that I was excited to check off (I usually go over my goals on flight). Although February is marked by rose bouquets, winter activities and looking forward to spring, I enjoyed a few weeks of summer with a best friend, travelling the coast following the short but sweet indoor/cross country season.
I flew back to Boston after 4 weeks of altitude, ready to hit our home track and open the season at the New Balance Indoor Grand Prix. The 3000m is one of my favourite events, and each year, I have been able to shave a few seconds off of my personal best (8:43). The excitement and hype around this race was incredible, especially getting to perform on our new track, but it also brings a certain amount of pressure. The stands were filled with people from New Balance, including the ones who write our contracts. This is the closest thing to a performance appraisal, where you want to prove yourself/your worth.
I finished 6th in 8:51.96, in what was a somewhat tactical race that I did not run tactfully. In these moments, you cross the line, look up at the clock, and put a brave face on as you walk off the track. Sometimes you’re asked for a post-race interview, and you do your best to spin a positive light on the performance you haven’t yet processed. It’s a part of the sport that has been one of the hardest for me, navigating disappointed while trying to smile for the camera.
Since turning pro and making running my number one priority, the stakes are different. I’m not racing for myself anymore, I’m racing for a country, a team, and a brand. Each performance matters, whether trying to run a qualifying time, advance into a final, or win some prize money. It’s transactional. I know that every race requires a personal best in order to be in the mix. Everyone on the start line is capable of running the times I have, so now I need to squeeze out every bit of myself to “have a good day at the office.” Most times, this job excites me, but following a subpar performance (in what would’ve been an accomplishment not too long ago), there’s moments of serious doubt.
I tend to use the 24-hour rule when it comes to success, failure, and anything in between. Following a race, I allow myself to feel whatever I need in the day that follows, but once the 24 hours is up, it’s time to recenter and get back to regular programming. I had a 5000m lined up the following weekend at the BU Valentine Invitational, so the quicker I could shake off those post-race feelings, the better. However, this week happened to be especially challenging.
February 7 of 2019, we lost my oldest brother, Dominic, to suicide. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. Although it’s been 4 years, the feelings are just as real. I often wonder what he would say if he saw me now. I get upset thinking he will never know I went to the Olympics, and then I get upset for thinking this. To anyone who’s lost someone, I hope this resonates in some way. Having the support of my teammates, especially when I’m 1000 kilometers from home, has been amazing. It doesn’t take much, but walking into the locker room and getting a hug, or going for coffee and hanging out, meant the world to me. Both on and off the track, I hope I can be there for them like they are for me.
Friday night came, and as others were heading out for the evening, I had my coffee and a PB&J on the T (subway) at 7pm, on route to “The Magic Track”. I was nervous, as this was the first 5000 since the Commonwealth Games. My ‘A’ goal: run World Standard (14:57), my ‘B’ goal: run close to World Standard. The race was perfectly paced for 15 minutes flat, coming through the 3000m mark in 9:00. With 10 laps remaining, the gap formed, and I did my best to hang on for the final 2Km. I finished in 15:15, an indoor PB and 24 seconds faster than I ran last summer. Regardless, this felt like a missed opportunity. I sent a message to my sports psych, explaining the race and how I felt, then grabbed some pizza and gave myself the 24 hours. By Saturday, I felt ok again, and by Sunday, I was on a flight to Sydney for the World XC Championships.
Canada sent a full team (28 athletes) to Australia. I was selected based on my win at the National Championships back in November. Besides racing, reuniting with fellow teammates/Canadians is one of my favourite parts of making a National Team. In terms of the course, the LOC (Lead Organizing Committee) left no stone unturned. It was designed inside Mount Panorama (racecar track), and our warmup area was in the pit. We had every surface and obstacle imaginable. From mud, sand and wood chips to running through tires and a vineyard (unfortunately there was no wine tasting) - I think this will be one of my hardest but most memorable racing experiences.
The hills and heat were the determining factor on the day. Our plan was to go out conservatively and progress through the race. I started in the middle of the field, just ahead of my teammates. I looked at my watch to check the time and saw my pace (slow, ok good). I tried to relax on the downhills so that my heartrate wouldn’t spike before the next uphill. With 3Km to go, Regan Yee and Natalia Hawthorn rolled by, giving me a bum tap and a few words of encouragement. I held my position, finishing 40th individually and 8th as a team. My goal was top 30, but in cross country, there are times you’re just happy finishing. This marked the end of my winter (summer) indoor (outdoor) season, and I have now officially raced for Team Canada on every continent (with the exception of Antarctica).
My body was rightfully destroyed from the race, so I was glad to have a few days off as my former university teammate/roommate, Shannen, and I set out for our adventures up the coast. Getting to spend the last 10 days in Australia, travelling through Queensland and New South Wales, was absolutely amazing. With coffee in one hand and gelato in the other, we toured the island. People always talk about a once in a lifetime experience, and I think this may be one of them (here is a BTS).
We have 1 night left in Sydney before flying out of the country. This month has been an absolute journey, from beaches to mountains and everything in between, I think I may have fallen in love with this land down under. Looking forward to coming home, unpacking, repacking, and getting back to busi(fit)ness in Boston.
Sincerely,
P.S. Sending you this month’s BEST:
Book – Peanut Butter Falcon (not a book but it should be)
Eat – Mediterranean Chicken Bowls (similar to this recipe)
Session – Last lap of the race, and every run that finished in the ocean
Tune – fools (can’t help falling in love) by Foster, Sody, Sarcastic Sounds